Resiliency & Insight in our Teens

Teenagers do not get the credit they deserve. We hear all about the negative aspects and experiences of adolescents, including the middle school drama, the excessive phone use and the high risk behavior. What we don't hear enough about is the incredible insight, creativity and potential for resiliency that teenagers possess. My clients are constantly amazing me with these and other beautiful gifts.

I'd like to talk about resiliency. This week I went for a walk with my client, Anna (all names have been changed to protect privacy). When I first started seeing Anna a year ago, she was doing poorly in school, failing to turn in assignments and frequently arguing with her parents, as a result. She had a low self-esteem and poor body image. On our walk this week, Anna eagerly told me about the classes she selected for next year -- all honors classes! When she started the school year this past fall, she decided she wanted to do well and she crushed it! Anna was also insightful enough to realize that part of the reason she was doing poorly in school was that the friends she was spending time with did not prioritize school and that was affecting the way she prioritized her school work.

At a different session with Anna recently, I felt her improvement in self-esteem, body image and ability to navigate friendships was so impressive that I asked to provide advice that I would give to a younger client, Bella, who was experiencing struggles in those areas. This simple request allowed me to show Anna just how proud I was of her hard work and gave her the opportunity to engage in another confidence-boosting activity -- helping others. Then let's consider Bella, who now has confirmation that she's not the only one with these challenges, but also has proof that it can get better. BOOM!

One of the last things that really stood out to me from my most recent session with Anna was another incredibly thoughtful statement. When she was telling me about the electives she had chosen for next year, she told me that one of the reasons she chose a particular elective was because of the teacher's teaching style. Previously, she had felt engaged and truly enjoyed being in his class. I felt such a sense of insight and self-awareness coming from Anna as she described this reasoning.

I'm not sure if I've been an instrument in Anna's journey, or just a tag-along, but it has been so incredibly rewarding to be part of it.